So long story short, I joined OK Cupid. To say it has been interesting has been an understatement. I have had messages from everyone from 19 year olds looking for a hookup and want me to just drop everything and go out for a quick booty call or alternately they want to come to my house for the same, obviously both of those options are out for me due to the 3 small people who share my house. I have had messages from many many 30 odd year old men who seem to get surprised that I have children, despite me making sure that I have referenced them in my profile numerous times (a case of only seeing what they want?) and who then get pissed if I can’t just drop everything to go on a date (at least it’s a step up from a hookup right? Or maybe it’s just a more mature version). To 47 year olds who play it like they just want to be friends and then attempt to change the game halfway through and start making their moves.
So far I have met one of these guys, the Showpony (due to his apparent love of extravagant clothes), his profile was intriguing enough that I let it slide that he wasn’t into talking online. So I met him for coffee at a cute little cafe in one of the more hipster parts of town that he chose (I had plans to be child free and in the area anyway, it was my normal child free time and I figured sharing it wouldn’t be so bad), we sat, we chatted, he kissed me. Then we wandered around and held hands and generally did allot of kissing and hand holding and chatting. We have exchanged numbers but I don’t necessarily know that it’s going to go anywhere simply due to very different lifestyles but it was so nice to be talked to as an equal again, and to be kissed (and wow what a kiss!). He was very definite on wanting a second date though so we shall see if he follows through.
Then there are the nice guys. The ones who actually want to talk and get to know me a bit before we arrange to meet up.
One turned out to be a bit full-on. I usually refer to him as The Banker. He started off really sweet then 2 days in was saying that an afternoon by the pool, with a BBQ wasn’t perfect simply because I wasn’t there…. which can be read as really sweet but in a phone conversation later he decided to tell me I was an idiot for worrying about a good friends relationship (in my defence the friend in question had been confiding in me, and I was worried due to those conversations) and told me that “when” we were in an exclusive relationship I wouldn’t be “allowed” to see any male friends by myself…. yeah no he got a very short escort to the metaphorical door… yeah we hadn’t even met in real life yet…
Then there is the Policeman who is a surprise. I was worried that he would turn out to be much the same as the banker. He is incredibly cheeky and a bit risqué at times (that man can make me blush with just a text, the king of the double entendre) but he is turning out to be a sweetheart he is incredibly thoughtful and accommodating. Not only that but he is a constant surprise, every time I think I have got him pegged he brings out something new which makes me question the picture that I have been building, the latest instance of that was him recognising the name of a now defunct law firm that I worked at when I was younger, this place was a boutique firm that not many outside of the specific area of law that it operated in knew about, yet he knew all about it, turns out in a previous life he was a corporate lawyer…. We have a date scheduled for later this week. I am eager to see if all of the online chemistry will translate to real life, we shall have to see.
To be perfectly truthful though I’m not sure if dating right now is the right thing, I don’t know if I am rushing it, or if I’m too damaged or if it’s too much. All I do know though is that I want to give it a try. I’m not lonely as such, a little bored now that uni has wrapped for the year that is for sure, but more than that I am just looking for companionship. I am looking for someone to spend some time with that I can bond with a bit, share a joke or two with. Kiss and cuddle on the couch with and watch crappy TV with. I don’t think that is too much to ask.