Today I am struggling. Today I realised that I am not coping. I am not doing this well. My kids are suffering because they don’t have everything they need, I am not getting done what I need to get done. Dude is not getting groomed. The kitchen is not getting cleaned, the lawn is getting too long. The house is a mess…. and I am struggling. I know that I CAN do better and i know that I NEED to do better I just don’t know where I am going to pull the reserves to actually DO better from. I am exhausted constantly. I am short tempered and I am STRUGGLING.

Dude’s hair has gotten beyond a joke once again. I found a huge matt underneath his chin which is awful, and I feel terrible. Although not as terrible as him I would guess. Then my clippers broke. They just stopped cutting. I tried everything I could think of so now I have a new set on order but I need to wait to friday to pay for them and then for them to get here. In the meantime scissors it is.

The kids are OK but the ONLY thing that I could afford to do with them this school holidays is a trip to the local science museum. They had fun but we couldn’t even stay the whole day because firstly they all split off in 3 separate directions multiple times giving me a heart attack each time they did it, and secondly I have uni work that I need to get done today. I have assignments due and things to write and read and watch. My break is 1 week long while theirs is 2… lord help me.

The house is a pigsty. We have a mouse, at least one. I have put out traps and baits and mouse attractant and every other thing that I can think of and I can’t seem to get rid of the little jerks. Mind you I haven’t seen one in a few days so hopefully they made it outside if they are dead.

I just feel like I am sinking, and like I can’t even reach out for help.