I keep coming back!

I obviously have no consistency which is pretty much the story of my life.

So please let me reintroduce myself once again. Hi my name is Andy, I have kept this blog up and running on my own tiny sliver of the internet for a few years now but have never really committed fully to it. I think the reason why if you go any further back than this becomes pretty obvious very very fast. I wasn’t being authentic.

I spent the first couple of years that I was writing this blog stressed the hell out about anonymity and protecting myself and my kids from my Ex and against anything he might throw at us. But I have finally realised that this isn’t going to be a problem anymore.

I still want to protect the kids anonymity a bit because they have the right to determine how they want to be seen on the internet and by people at large. But for me, I have this little sliver of the net to just be me.

So what do I have going on? Well I am STILL studying… I know STILL. It has been a long assed degree I can tell you that much. In the meantime I have finished a Cert IV in Human Resources and I am still a fair bit away from actually finishing my degree but I am making slow but steady headway.

About 2 years ago now I started working for a solar power installation company which was a great “getting back into the workforce” job. But the pay was a bit rubbish and the hours that were required were… not great for the kids and I. I mean the advantage was I was 10 minutes from the office… the disadvantage was I was 10 minutes from the office IYKWIM?

About a year ago I quit there and went to work for 2.5 months at a psychology practice which was hellacious. One of the bosses was lovely, the other…. Yeah.

But the 2.5 months that I was there primed me perfectly to slot into the role that I am currently in which is AWESOME. I work for a Human Services Organisation which sounds really airy fairy but the reality of it is that we provide care homes for people with disabilities and we are now branching out into different areas of Human Services like assisting those who are having issues with their government housing agreements and those who are entering or exiting the justice system who are also disabled. I am about to come up on my 1 year anniversary and it is incredible how much I love my job.

Moody, Mischief and Mayhem now have a little 4 legged sister who I sometimes affectionately call Maniac. She is the ratbaggiest of ratbags but also the Goodest of Girls when she wants to be. Clara is a 6 month old German Short Haired Pointer who brings a lot of joy to the entire family but has turned into my little shadow. Right now she is snoozing next to me in her bed in my office while I am SUPPOSED to be working on assignments but i am doing this instead. She is WAY WAY too smart for my own good, case in point being that I managed to accidentally train her that if she brings me a sock (rather than chewing it up) that she gets a treat, so now she will STEAL socks, either from the kids bedrooms or the clean laundry (or the laundry basket if the kids actually get them in there) and stand in front of the kitchen and make a disgruntled half whine half bark noise until someone gets her her well deserved treat.

So the rest of life. I am currently living in my younger sisters house, she needed to not live alone so she moved in with our Mum and had an empty house and the rental crises hit with landlords wanting to charge $400 plus a week for a 3 bedroom house. So she is scratching my back while am scratching hers. It’s a nice little house and we are all settling in… although we have been here 2 months and I am still living surrounded by boxes. So come the end of this month (which is the end of the semester) I am going to finish putting stuff away and finally settle in.

I am still single. I am happy to stay single for the time being. The concept of dating is … well… not appealing to say the least. Every time I start to consider it as an option someone at work mentions something stupid that their husband has done and that fixes the problem for another month which is awesome.

Tinman is not a problem for the time being. I am just going back through trying to figure out what I have shared and what I haven’t. He is still in jail. He is due out in a few years but to be honest right now that is a future me problem. His Mum occasionally tries to get me to baby him by making the first step towards him having contact with the kids but the more that I am thinking about it the less that I am willing to play the games anymore. It has been over a year now since he has had any contact with the kids outside of birthday and Christmas cards. It is what it is and I am done fretting over it.

She has recently popped up again asking me to write him a nice letter, to encourage him to call the kids. I was so close, in fact I drafted and re-drafted it over and over trying to be “nice” but then I realised, he is a 39 year old man. Who has all but abandoned his kids. Why am I being nice about this? He most certainly wouldn’t be treating me with kid gloves if the situation was reversed. So I have re-written the letter again. It is no longer “nice”. I have made a concerted effort to take all of “my” stuff out of it but I have gone through and listed all of the crap he has pulled with the kids from withholding child support to not contacting them to verbally abusing me in front of them or around them. I am making it clear that I will no longer be taking instruction from his Mum and that if he wants to talk to the kids he will be required to work with me in order to make that happen and exactly what behaviour I will and will not tolerate (literally do not call me names, yell, etc).

I am going to go before the kids kill each other doing the dishes. But hopefully I can make this at least a semi regular thing.

One thought on “I keep coming back!

  1. Rachel Mills says:

    Well done Andy, I think it’s great that despite everything you have stayed strong, got back on track and found a job you love. I tried to get back in to work after having kids but they still need me for school pickup and holidays so I’m blogging. I’m hoping this will be a full time job for me one day. Good luck with everything and stay strong. Rachel


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