Working again!

So the biggest news of the day so far is that I HAVE A JOB!

I could not be more excited. Not only is it really local (less than 20 minutes door to door) but it is also full-time and and admin job!! I am back in an office baby!

I have gone out and bought a few new tops in preparation and have aready started as of Thursday which has been super exciting. The office is small and is based in the warehouse which means that it is your typical warehouse office, small and has a very haphazard quality to it, BUT the people are lovely, and the product is good.

But they NEED an administrator badly. I saw their electronic files and about had a heart attack! It was insane! They have no stationary account set up, they have excel spreadsheets they are using for their work which are good, but all over the place. I am so excited to dig in and start fixing stuff!

 

The juggle is already proving to be difficult, I need to have the kids at daycare in the early morning which is proving to be a challenge. In order to get taken to school the latest they can arrive is 8 am and we almost missed that today. So it is something to work on.

The upside is that I now have a key to work which is AWESOME and I am soon to get a buzzer to get into and out of the gate (because they shut it at 6pm… which means no getting out if I am late at work, which means that provided that I am careful I can stay until the kids need to be picked up!

Outside of work things are ticking along. I am learning *slowly* to be more proactive. Taking care of things before I *feel* like it… not an easy task for a procrastinator but necessary if I want to have everything run smoothly from now on!

The kids are adapting to their new classrooms and years. Even Mischief has taken to doing her homework MOSTLY without complaint which is a nice change from practically having to tie her to the chair last year (no children were harmed in the persuit of homework completion I promise!). She has voluntarily asked to do her homework reading which is AMAZING. I think she has finally realised that it is actively holding her back from her work.

Flying monkey from no where!

This Monday I was wandering through the local shop with the kids. It was MUCH later than normal but between TAFE work and procrastination I hadn’t gotten dinner yet. I looked like hell because I had been busy all day and planning on working out since that morning so I hadn’t showered, hadn’t washed my hair, hadn’t put on makeup… I looked like hell.

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Dating as a single mum

I can’t say that I have dated much as a single mum. The first time I became a single mum I pretty much lived as a hermit, I met my first boyfriend at work and then about a year after that finished I met Tinman again at a funeral of a mutual friend. This time around I have been a bit more proactive but not by much. I have signed up to a couple of dating sites (I actually signed up to the first one the same night he walked out, in an attempt to reassure myself that there were decent men out there…. I am almost entirely sure that was a mistake!) and have had some interest thrown my way but I have just found that throughout this first year I am just not interested, or rather no-one has had me interested enough to get past the first date. Continue reading

A year

It is amazing how much change a year can make. Have you ever really looked at it? You notice a year pass when you have small kids because they change so much from one year to the next, they go from being a newborn to a toddler in a year (give or take). That’s huge. But once you get to be an adult years pass one much like the previous, your wrinkles get a little deeper, your hair a little more grey (unless of course you are like me and dye it religiously). Rarely does a single year make such a huge impact in your life. I mean it takes years to do the major things, buy a house, build a career, get a degree, save for a big holiday (or is that just a me thing?) A little over a year ago my whole world imploded.

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I think I have hit the whining tipping point

Since The Tinman left in May of last year (9 months ago roughly) I have to admit that while I have kept a majority of my complaints off this page and off social media I haven’t been so contained when it comes to family and close friends. There have been allot of crappy things happening and I have done a whole lot of venting about those crappy things. At first it made me feel better because at least then I didn’t feel quite so crazy, it was almost like just getting the poison out helped. Then it meant that I didn’t feel as stupid, knowing that my family didn’t see allot of what was now happening coming meant that I could be forgiven for not seeing it either.

Now it just makes me ache.

I was talking to my Little Sis 1 today and the topic turned to The Tinman and his behaviour and I realised that talking about it just made me feel icky. So I have made a decision that I’m just not going to talk about it anymore. All that talking about it is doing is bringing it to the forefront of my mind again and again. It is exhausting especially as the longer this behaviour goes on the more I have been finding it stressing me out. To the point that just thinking about it makes my heart ache. Lil Sis said that I need to stop allowing each and every instance of his bad behaviour affect me so much, that I need to let it go, and I know that she didn’t understand when I told her that it’s very hard to let go when Mayhem’s only message for his father for the last 2 calls running has been “I love you Daddy” and there hasn’t been even a flicker of response. Hearing your 4 year old say that over and over to someone who just seems to not give a damn is heartbreaking. But I have to admit she is right. Every time I gear up for one of those calls I get that crushing pain in my chest (yes actual physical pain) and it becomes hard to breathe. Even just talking about (or writing about) it causes the same reaction, I sweat and find that I feel like I am underwater breathing through a straw. I need to find a way to let this go and to get over it.

So I am going to stop whining. I am going to stop bringing up his crappy behaviour. I am going to find a way to vent this poison that I can feel building up inside of me because I am done. I can’t tolerate it any more. I don’t have time to be dwelling on the mess that he is creating.

Friday Fitness and parenting stuff

Not allot has been happening over the last few days. But it’s Friday! :).

So I have shimmied back into my size 14 jeans again. I am officially back to square 1. Very disappointed. But that is what 6 weeks of no exercise and bad eating will get you. I am more than a little bummed about it all but I had known that I was heading up for a while. But I am taking solace in the fact that I have 4 days a week coming where I can get out for a run and/or to the gym. That is only 10 days away. In terms of actual exercise done? None. I have accomplished nothing this week. Continue reading