Quiet holidays

These holidays have been very quiet. We have spent most of the time at home to be honest. Mainly due to finances, which sucks. Although the Mess Makers did have the chance to go out to the zoo with the OutLaws which was a wonderful day for them and allowed me to get some of my study done.

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The OutLaws were lovely to take them and said that they had fun as well which is wonderful, although Moody did pull a stunt at the end of the day which meant that he got a talking to not just from them but from me as well. The joys of raising children. He decided to help himself to the snacks that were left-over from the trip which wouldn’t be such a big deal but he went into the bag to get them, lied about it and then attempted to hide the evidence. Mother OutLaw was not impressed and neither was I. So we all sat him down and had a chat about it.

Meanwhile I am approximately 3 weeks behind on my study load which has me stressed to the max. Over the last 2 weeks my productivity has waned due to being exhausted. I have pretty much been up studying until 11 or 12 at night due to getting nothing done during the day as the kids have the TV going in the lounge most of the day (even when they aren’t watching but the second you turn it off they “were watching that” – apparently even through walls….) and want my attention a whole lot of the time. I love them but there have been times when I have just wanted to scream because I need to concentrate and they just want to be on top of me!! There has been no flow happening at all!


Mind you they are very sweet kids and it has been nice to get all of the extra cuddles. I am a bit sad that tomorrow will be the first day of term 2. But I am thrilled that I will be able to sit at my desk and concentrate for most of the day tomorrow! Not to mention being able to go for a run! We have the Mothers Day Classic coming up weekend after next, it is 4km and I booked in months ago thinking it would be fine, then I stopped running about a month ago!! NOT GOOD!!

The next few weeks though are going to be busy. I have a case study for existential/humanistic therapy and I am not really exactly sure about ANY of what we have learned. Then I have a research report due and OMG!! Last I have another case study due for Children and adolescent therapy… then we are in the last week of semester and then it is study week and then EXAM TIME!!! Holy hell! But it could be worse. I could have 5 or 6 assignments due.


All of that said though my planner has been evolving and changing as the semester has gone on. There are bits that I haven’t even touched, bits that I have used religiously, things that I have thrown away (washi tape and I are not friends… perhaps it was just that it was cheap and nasty tape?). But I promise to share a bit more about it once I have it a bit better sorted and a bit better set up.

It has already saved my financial bacon once by reminding me ahead of time that my car registration was due today. Which means that I managed to pay it last week and then note down when it will next be due.  Mind you managing the finances would be a bit easier with a little more money. To be honest this whole single parenting thing sucks in that respect. I can tell you right now I don’t know a single mother who is “living on easy street”. It’s a tough gig financially!

Any tips on saving some cash?
Planner pages you use to keep life in order?

I think I have hit the whining tipping point

Since The Tinman left in May of last year (9 months ago roughly) I have to admit that while I have kept a majority of my complaints off this page and off social media I haven’t been so contained when it comes to family and close friends. There have been allot of crappy things happening and I have done a whole lot of venting about those crappy things. At first it made me feel better because at least then I didn’t feel quite so crazy, it was almost like just getting the poison out helped. Then it meant that I didn’t feel as stupid, knowing that my family didn’t see allot of what was now happening coming meant that I could be forgiven for not seeing it either.

Now it just makes me ache.

I was talking to my Little Sis 1 today and the topic turned to The Tinman and his behaviour and I realised that talking about it just made me feel icky. So I have made a decision that I’m just not going to talk about it anymore. All that talking about it is doing is bringing it to the forefront of my mind again and again. It is exhausting especially as the longer this behaviour goes on the more I have been finding it stressing me out. To the point that just thinking about it makes my heart ache. Lil Sis said that I need to stop allowing each and every instance of his bad behaviour affect me so much, that I need to let it go, and I know that she didn’t understand when I told her that it’s very hard to let go when Mayhem’s only message for his father for the last 2 calls running has been “I love you Daddy” and there hasn’t been even a flicker of response. Hearing your 4 year old say that over and over to someone who just seems to not give a damn is heartbreaking. But I have to admit she is right. Every time I gear up for one of those calls I get that crushing pain in my chest (yes actual physical pain) and it becomes hard to breathe. Even just talking about (or writing about) it causes the same reaction, I sweat and find that I feel like I am underwater breathing through a straw. I need to find a way to let this go and to get over it.

So I am going to stop whining. I am going to stop bringing up his crappy behaviour. I am going to find a way to vent this poison that I can feel building up inside of me because I am done. I can’t tolerate it any more. I don’t have time to be dwelling on the mess that he is creating.

Only in dreams…

This past week has been allot of fun.

The Russian and I had a chance to go to another class over the weekend which was amazing. We both learned a tonne of new things and I was so pleased to have an opportunity to see him again as it’s been over a month since we have seen each other. I also got to meet his new girlfriend who is really cute! She is lovely and funny and she seems sweet. He certainly seems smitten with her which is wonderful to see. I also met someone new, there is nothing to report on but he is the first guy in a while to even strike a chord with me which was a nice feeling to have. As I have said before I am certainly not looking to date, but it’s nice to feel alive IYKWIM? Continue reading

So much crazy and yet utterly ordinary

So the Mess Makers have all been at school for the last few weeks which has been alternately AWESOME! But also a little bit sad, I miss having the babies around for those extra days and the house is so quiet when they aren’t all here! I never thought I would be sad that they are all at school but for the minute it’s true. Mind you I am expecting that to change a bit once I get started back at uni…. which happens on MONDAY!! Cue the scream of terror:

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I have just gone through and printed out the course outlines and entered all of the dates into my planner and written out allot of the readings into my uni-pages. IMG_3791

My planner isn’t pretty but I am really hoping it’s going to be functional. :).

I have got a small issue that the readings for COU3101 aren’t actually listed in the course plan they are simply listed under each module… so helpful. So I have all of the modules printed out and am simply going to print them a week ahead so that I have them on hand for when I need them. Right now my reading pile for week 1 looks like this:

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Yup… I am FREAKING OUT!! But in a good way. So let the madness begin.

But in the meantime this weekend is going to be fun. Mischief and Mayhem have dance class first thing on Saturday (yay!) which they are both enjoying. Then almost straight away (we get an hour in-between to get back to the car and get ourselves sorted) we have hockey tryouts for Moody and Mischief. I figure they can do it for a season, if they love it great, if not then they can give it away but it gives them a grounding in another sport at least. Mayhem was all sorts of devastated when he found out he couldn’t participate but they only do 5 and up and he is not yet 5 unfortunately. Cue the big blue eyes welling with tears and the very pouty bottom lip. He is beyond adorable when he sulks.

After all of that fun Mischief and Mayhem are going to Nanna’s for the night and Moody is going to his Dad’s, which means MAMA GETS A NIGHT OFF!! I have a very clear idea of what I am going to do, it involves sitting on a dark beach all alone. I am so looking forward to it. Then Sunday morning I have all to myself as well so the current plan is to get up early and go for my long run which will be 4 miles which is about 6.5km. I am working from an American training plan but given that the race I want to run is tracked in miles it seems appropriate. 🙂

So life is a moving with that normal crazy making everything is going so fast and yet SO. VERY. SLOW pace which is maddening and really really fun. I can’t wait to see what this semester brings.

Good luck to all of the students out there.

 

Rent inspection yet again.

Well I am back to stressing. I have another rent inspection on Monday which is positively joyous! Mind you I keep telling myself it could be worse! I could have the agent from hell… actually I have no idea if I have the agent from hell or not, the last girl to come out wasn’t my agent, she was a fill-in. Hopefully this time I get to meet the actual agent for this property, but on the phone at least she sounds positively delightful.

I have finally gotten into Mayhem and Mischief’s room to clear it out, they had a huge overflow of toys after Christmas and Mayhem’s birthday which meant that the floor has basically been covered ever since. This really is a tiny little house and I REALLY don’t have room for anything else. So I trashed some of their older toys, anything that was missing pieces or broken in some way has hit the trash. Anything that I can’t remember them playing with in recent history but that is intact went into the op-shop box. Although there are some things that I am torn about, their wooden Thomas train set which has heaps of track and they do haul it out occasionally although not for a couple of months now. Or their duplo set which we have 2 boxes worth of bricks give or take but they only pull those out occasionally (I think they are old enough to start collecting Lego instead…

Moody’s room is on the list to be hit but I have had to put it off for a little while because before I can make a proper assessment of what he should chuck the kid needs some storage. I have a trofast unit from Ikea that needs to be put together but there is absolutely no point in doing it until we get the bins that go inside it and they were out of stock last time I was there. Hopefully when we get this months child support from his father I can grab a few bins along with one of the small billy bookcases to pop all of his books into and that should solve a majority of the problem.

My room also needs to be tackled because of the overflow from the other rooms taking up residence. But it is nowhere near as bad as it has been in the past which I am grateful for. But I could do with a chuck session in there as well. Things like MOUNTAINS of Avon stuff that I got when I was a representative, most of which I doubt I will ever use. Bits and pieces from a half dozen different things, none of which add up to anything but I have kept for some goodness only knows what reason. But most of the mess is created by me not making my bed and the eleventy billion pillows I have but there is no way on this planet I am getting rid of those!

Finally I need to find places in my kitchen for all of the containers and stuff that my mum gifted me with when she replaced her stuff. I have already chucked a whole heap of stuff into the op shop bin (Truthfully even 10 dinner plates is probably overkill given that my kids don’t eat off dinner plates and we rarely if ever have visitors and my one and only table only seats 6 anyway) but there is more stuff that I can actually see us using and so can’t bear to throw away but at the same time THERE IS NO ROOM!!

I am also working REALLY hard on getting much more organised this year. I realised on Saturday that the electronic tracking of everything just is not working for me anymore. I don’t have the brain power for it. I am all for going paperless as much as possible but for me in this time of life right now it is a very bad idea. I realised this when I had the sudden realisation that we had hit the end of January and I HADN’T PAID THE CAR REGISTRATION!! I knew it was due some time in January and HELLO February and I hadn’t paid it, not only that but I didn’t have money put aside for it.  Cue freakout and frantic searching on the relevant website to discover that in fact my car was 3 whole days out of registration!! Excuse the exclamation marks but here that is a massive fine and they will simply take the plates off the car there and then, at which point it needs to be towed not driven home and then towed to the inspection centre and re-inspected!! All of which costs mega bucks that I simply do not have! I figured out how to solve the problem after spinning my metaphorical wheels for most of the day but it was not a pleasant experience. I realised that this sort of stuff just didn’t happen when I used to use my filofax. These days I am busier probably than I have ever been between kids, uni, TAFE, house stuff it all seems to be piling on top of me – and semester hasn’t even started yet!

So I have spent a bit of time considering whether to make the jump or not and finally decided that In need some thing that works. It is that simple and electronic just no longer does. So I went into deep researcher mode (ha ha!).  I loved my filofax for the flexibility of it and so while I did consider (and I definitely drooled over) the Erin Condren planners I knew with everything I would want to include it wasn’t the best idea. So I started looking at binder systems. There are so many options these days!! In the end I settled on a Wellness Planner from Kiki K. I love the colours (a very light dove grey on the outside and the inside is a muted aqua/teal colour) and allot of the reviews on youtube and online are really positive. Of course I have ripped out allot of the guts of the planner and am in the process of re-working it to suit my needs. I will share once it has settled (I only got it today and I haven’t even got all of my inserts yet!).

Anyway that is everything that is happening in the world of us!

Hugs

Let me preface this by saying firstly my family can tend towards the frank and a little towards the crass at times.

Mum hosted a lunch for the Great Aunts (My Nanna’s sisters) and I was invited along with the kids a little before Christmas. It is an annual tradition that I haven’t been a part of before because I have been away. I was having a discussion with one of my Aunts about the demise of my relationship and how I was still sad 7 months later and I didn’t understand why. Continue reading