I am pretty sure that you don’t come here for updates on my weight :). Hell *I* don’t come here to update on my weight! But I have hit rock bottom. Or rather I have hit peak weight…. but either way I thought I had hit it before… and then evidently I realised that the bottom was made of delicious chocolate coated, deep fried deliciousness and I just kept eating…. which is kind of humiliating… kind of expected. Exercise and fitness is NOT something that comes naturally to me. I am the girl who skipped gym class by having my period every single week. Then when that stopped working I played off of having a bone deformity in my wrists (which is actually real) which unfortunately meant that anything requiring contact (hitting things) or twisting motions (throwing things) or fast movements (throwing things) or putting pressure on my wrists (pushups) was out. To be perfectly honest all of those things are true, but none of them affect my legs… or my ability to at least TRY and participate.
Since I left school I have had a very up and down relationship with my weight. After leaving Tinman for the first time I fell in love with walking the dog and we would walk for 5km every day, then I graduated to the gym, but then I took it too too far and ended up with all sorts of disordered patterns (working out for a couple of hours once or twice a day, 5 or 6 days per week while not really eating allot).
So once I got pregnant with Moody a couple of years later I just ate everything and I ballooned from about 50kg to over 80 and that is where I stayed until I decided after Mayhem was born that I needed to do SOMETHING, not necessarily fitness related but I felt like I was stagnating, like the world was passing me by. So I took up running. I set my sights on the Bridge Run, a 10km course that ran over the Sydney Harbour Bridge and I attacked it. I ran it in September of 2013 and between the training for that and breastfeeding I pretty much shed the weight like it was nothing (except slogging it around the neighbourhood for an hour at a time in the cold and the rain several times a week… you know … nothing). I ran the race in 2013 (so the year after he was born) and was so proud of myself. But then I stopped again.
I lost allot of weight after Tinman left me this time around. Which was 3 years ago. I have a MOUNTAIN of size 12 clothes in my wardrobe that I can’t wear because unfortunately the heartbreak diet has a limited effectiveness span and I ran out the clock without really thinking about doing what I needed to do to stay where I was.
So here I am again, and wondering what the hell happened. So this is kind of me coming out, acknowledging that something needs to change. Not just because I want back into those size 12 clothes but also because I want to feel good again, instead of waking up sore, and spending days hobbling around, having sore knees and hips and shoulders…. so back to Fitness Fridays it will be.
This Monday I was wandering through the local shop with the kids. It was MUCH later than normal but between TAFE work and procrastination I hadn’t gotten dinner yet. I looked like hell because I had been busy all day and planning on working out since that morning so I hadn’t showered, hadn’t washed my hair, hadn’t put on makeup… I looked like hell.
This week signalled the start of a brand new school year. Moody is now officially a high-school kid with his transition to year seven, and Mischief and Mayhem are now both in their junior years of primary school and I have changed from purely online study at university to also doing on campus study with TAFE.
These holidays have been very quiet. We have spent most of the time at home to be honest. Mainly due to finances, which sucks. Although the Mess Makers did have the chance to go out to the zoo with the OutLaws which was a wonderful day for them and allowed me to get some of my study done.
The OutLaws were lovely to take them and said that they had fun as well which is wonderful, although Moody did pull a stunt at the end of the day which meant that he got a talking to not just from them but from me as well. The joys of raising children. He decided to help himself to the snacks that were left-over from the trip which wouldn’t be such a big deal but he went into the bag to get them, lied about it and then attempted to hide the evidence. Mother OutLaw was not impressed and neither was I. So we all sat him down and had a chat about it.
Meanwhile I am approximately 3 weeks behind on my study load which has me stressed to the max. Over the last 2 weeks my productivity has waned due to being exhausted. I have pretty much been up studying until 11 or 12 at night due to getting nothing done during the day as the kids have the TV going in the lounge most of the day (even when they aren’t watching but the second you turn it off they “were watching that” – apparently even through walls….) and want my attention a whole lot of the time. I love them but there have been times when I have just wanted to scream because I need to concentrate and they just want to be on top of me!! There has been no flow happening at all!
Mind you they are very sweet kids and it has been nice to get all of the extra cuddles. I am a bit sad that tomorrow will be the first day of term 2. But I am thrilled that I will be able to sit at my desk and concentrate for most of the day tomorrow! Not to mention being able to go for a run! We have the Mothers Day Classic coming up weekend after next, it is 4km and I booked in months ago thinking it would be fine, then I stopped running about a month ago!! NOT GOOD!!
The next few weeks though are going to be busy. I have a case study for existential/humanistic therapy and I am not really exactly sure about ANY of what we have learned. Then I have a research report due and OMG!! Last I have another case study due for Children and adolescent therapy… then we are in the last week of semester and then it is study week and then EXAM TIME!!! Holy hell! But it could be worse. I could have 5 or 6 assignments due.
All of that said though my planner has been evolving and changing as the semester has gone on. There are bits that I haven’t even touched, bits that I have used religiously, things that I have thrown away (washi tape and I are not friends… perhaps it was just that it was cheap and nasty tape?). But I promise to share a bit more about it once I have it a bit better sorted and a bit better set up.
It has already saved my financial bacon once by reminding me ahead of time that my car registration was due today. Which means that I managed to pay it last week and then note down when it will next be due. Mind you managing the finances would be a bit easier with a little more money. To be honest this whole single parenting thing sucks in that respect. I can tell you right now I don’t know a single mother who is “living on easy street”. It’s a tough gig financially!
Any tips on saving some cash?
Planner pages you use to keep life in order?
This last week has been a bit of a wash. In fact it was a total wash. I achieved next to nothing in the way of study leaving me almost a full week behind!! Not good this early in the semester but I am sure that I will catch up. Continue reading
So I”m a day late and possibly a dollar short…. or several as it usually feels these days. 🙂
So I was all dressed and ready to run this afternoon when I decided to scroll on through my instagram posts. I came across a gym selfie taken in April before I left. So I decided to to a progress shot… Continue reading